Monday, December 29, 2008
The aftermath and the let-down...
It's over. Yes, another Christmas celebration has passed us by. We experienced family, friends, food, and fun. It was a blessed time! I was unaware that some people experience a depression in the "aftermath" of the Christmas frenzy. I am still finding paper wrapping under the couch and am waiting for the stack of empty boxes in the garage to miraculously disappear. However, I have a friend, Mary who expressed her Christmas "let down" to me this week on the phone. She is having a hard time moving on and even experienced some tremendous disappointment in the gift her husband gave her. She told me of her heavy heart and her dry spiritual state.
Maybe you're in that same place with Mary? I can understand. There is so much fervor and anticipation leading up to this special holiday. After the dust settles, what is left? Sometimes it's beautiful memories, lovely gifts, and gratitude to the Lord. Other times it can consist of disappointment, unmet expectations, and disillusionment. I remember a few Christmas' that left me feeling empty and bitter.
It was our first Christmas after we were married. I had great expectations for this holiday! Kevin had spoiled me while we were dating and I knew marriage would bring ever even better gifts! To be honest one of my "love languages" is gift giving and gift getting. I was so excited to open up my Christmas gift from him. As I opened the very long and beautifully decorated box I noticed Kevin sitting there with the a HUGE grin that spoke loudly; “I am so proud of myself". I was stunned as I carefully opened the box and looked inside. It was a hunting rifle, not just any hunting rifle, but the exact hunting rifle Kevin had showed me in a magazine several months before. I was crushed and Kevin could see by the look on my face that something had misfired. I was left completely disappointed and devastated.
I thought my husband had learned his lesson, until my next birthday. The BIG 3-0! I was really excited about this birthday. I was thinking maybe a surprise party, maybe a beautiful piece of jewelry to celebrate the occasion. Well there wasn’t a huge surprise party but Kevin had invited a few friends over to the house, and it was a great evening. Then it was time for me to open the gifts. After I had opened several sweet gifts from friends, Kevin put in front of me a medium sized box. Hmmmm I wondered, what could be in here? A little big for jewelry but maybe he wrapped it like this to throw me off the trail? As I tore off the paper I looked at Kevin and he had that same “I am so proud of myself” smile on his face. The warning siren should have sounded, but it did not. I opened the box and there before me was a state of the art.... scope, to go with my hunting rifle. I was crushed, deflated, baffled. How could he get it so wrong???
The Lord answered that question for me a week later. I was talking to a friend of mine who recently separated from her husband of 15 years. As I lodged my complaint to her about Kevin's seemingly selfish gift giving she began to cry. I couldn't imagine that she was feelingly overly compassionate about my cause so I stopped talking. Quietly she spoke words that pierced my heart. She said; "I wish that Ken would have bought me something that included me in his hobbies. If he had we probably would not be divorcing." Then it hit me! Kevin wasn't buying those things for me to disappoint me, but to include me in his passion, which was hunting. He wanted me to be a part of something he loved to do. I felt so very small at that moment and felt my eyes open wide. It was not the gifts that had misfired, it was my perspective. I asked Fran to forgive my insensitivity, which she graciously did with a hug. When Kevin came home from work that night, I sat down by him and said "thank you and forgive me". When he asked what I was thanking him for I told him I had behaved like a spoiled child and was deeply grateful to God that I had a husband who truly gave me gifts from the heart.
If you are feeling the Christmas let-down today sweet friend. Fill yourself with the living Word of God. His Word is a gift that will never disappoint and will always deliver just what we need. This scripture found in Jeremiah 15:16 is an encouragement:
Your words were found, and I ate them, and Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart.
Today I pray that you receive a wonderful gift ~ a refreshing of God's Holy Spirit upon you. Don't let the JOY of the celebration of our Savior's birth be wrapped in the disappointment of unmet expectations, but embrace the gift of love and grace brought to us over 2,000 years ago.
Blessings to you!
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